Democrats Are Sexy
Put Your Affairs In Order
A woman went to her doctor.
The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, ‘I’ve some bad news. You have cancer and you’d better put your affairs in order.’ The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. ‘Well daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don’t go so well. In this case, things aren’t well. I have cancer. Let’s head to the club and have a martini.’
After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually approached by some of the woman’s old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end. ‘I’ve been diagnosed with AIDS.’
The friends were aghast and gave the woman their condolences. After the friends left, the woman’s daughter
leaned over and whispered, ‘Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS.’
The woman said, ‘I don’t want any of those bitches sleeping with your father after I’m gone.’
That’s ‘Putting Your Affairs In Order’.
Weirdest Family Photo Ever
The little girl is stroking the dad’s fabric penis!
So wrong on so many levels. No words…
Available Online For Free
Prank person/artist Evan Roth made these stickers and applied them to all the DVDs at a random store. This works on several levels (as all good art does) because it is both funny AND true.
You can download the template file here, should you want to do this at a store near you.
AVAILABLE ONLINE FOR FREE is also the name of Evan’s first solo exhibition in Vienna. You can, not surprisingly, download the exhibition book for free at evan-roth.com.
Chinese Sperm Bank (NSFW)
Apparently this is how dudes donate sperm in China. I wonder why China even has sperm banks. I thought they were way over-populated there. Maybe they are exporting the sperm.
I bet the job ad for this place reads something like this:
An internship here really offers hands-on experience. It’s a growing field with small rises and falls of course. Collapse is always a possibility. Our staff is always hard at work. (Tip: You don’t want the stock option though unless you have the freezer space.) Potential employees who want to make a splash in this industry are welcome to apply. A firm grasp of biology is recommended. Why not start your career with a happy ending?
Why are the guys wearing masks, but the “nurses” aren’t?