Another Fox News fail. Fox News wants to know how often you think about touching other people’s private parts.

“Juliet Capulet is in a relationship and it’s complicated.” January 6, 1591

Romeo Montague likes this.

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

I wonder if he still sounds like Tim Allen.

After beating the U.S. in the gold medal game, the Canadian women’s hockey team took their celebration to the ice, complete with cigars and ginormous bottles of Molson Canadian. The IOC is considering punishing the team for the excessive celebration.

After being defeated for reelection in 2006, Rep. Melissa Hart (R-PA) just up and left her old Volkswagen Jetta in a parking garage used by members of Congress. Meaning, our congresspeople write things like, “I wish my wife was this dirty,” or, “F-ing wash me!” on dirty car windows. You people are a bunch of goddamn third graders!

Unfortunately, this does happen.

Do you remember those laughable After School Specials? The tagline is priceless: “What do you do when your bright, lovable, talented kid turns into a punker overnight? The Nelsons are about to find out.”